How to find a coach or mentor

With the world in crisis, you’d be forgiven for dismissing coaching as an unnecessary indulgence. But life in lockdown has meant lots of people have found themselves reassessing what matters most and taking stock.

There’s no single reason why people decide to work with a coach or a mentor. For some, it could be a desire for better career progression; needing to manage difficult conversations at work; collaborating more effectively with stakeholders; or increasing their job satisfaction. Other people might have identified specific skills or qualities that they’d like to focus on and develop.

We can all benefit from using a coach or a mentor at some point, and finding the right person could be the best investment you ever make.

Here's how to find a coach or mentor that's a good fit for you. 

The difference between mentoring and coaching

Being coached is a process of self-discovery aided by a trained professional. In that way, coaching is more facilitative than mentoring is. Coaches will help you set your objectives, and then you need to do the heavy lifting.

For example, if you’re starting a new project where you know you will be facing new interpersonal challenges, you might use a coach to help build up your soft skills. 

In contrast, being mentored is essentially seeking direct advice drawn from your mentor’s experiences and skills. In this scenario, you’re more likely to be asking direct questions such as: “In your experience, how should I structure this project?”

Whether you’ve decided to go for a coach or a mentor, some things remain the same. You’ve got to turn up on time, honour the appointments, be honest with your responses, and dig deep.

How to find your perfect match

If you’re looking for a coach, you can often find one directly through your employer; many charities can access a roster of pro bono coaches for you. Failing that, an HR consultant should be able to help. 

You could also approach the International Coaching Federation, who charge on a sliding scale. 

If you’re interested in finding a mentor, you could try the CharityComms mentoring scheme if your workplace is a member. Alternatively, you could approach someone in your professional network who you look up to, or with whom you share the same values.

A coach doesn’t need to be an expert in your field. Trust is the most important factor in finding your perfect match. 

Start with a 30-minute discussion about what you want to get out of the sessions, then check how they respond and what their proposed approach would be. That’s when you get a sense of the rapport between you. Do you click with them? Do you feel comfortable around them?  It’s totally fine to say: “Sorry, this isn’t the right match for me”. You might go through two or three coaches before you find one that suits you. 

Look out for whether the coach or mentor is truly listening to you. This is a side note, but some people will shoot questions at you without properly listening to your responses. Notice if they use phrases like “What I’m hearing is...” and “If I could summarise what you’re saying...” If it feels like they’re hitting the mark with these statements, that’s a good match.

Decide what level of challenge you need. With coaching, some people won’t provide much feedback or push you very much and you will need to reach conclusions yourself. Others will challenge you far more. 

Structuring the relationship

To start, you could use the guidelines from CharityComms, agreeing your objectives, number of sessions and regularity. I’d say go for bimonthly or  monthly sessions. Once a week is too often – you need time to put your learning and insights into practice. Try six sessions over six months and agree your dates at the beginning. 

With both mentoring and coaching, the person who is being supported leads the conversation. Sometimes, you’ll set your previously defined objectives for a session aside because something happened in the lead up and you want to talk about that. Don’t worry if this happens; it’s all about what support you need in that moment. These relationships are designed to be supportive and stress-free.

I have a couple of coaching spots at the moment that are free of charge. If you’re interested, let me know!